Professor Chaos/Quotes
This page lists all notable quotes voiced out by Professor Chaos in South Park: The Fractured But Whole. Overview Professor Chaos dedicates himself to spreading chaos, which is reflected in his quotes. However, he also acts caring towards his allies. Field/Story * During The Hundred Hands of Chaos ** "Well, well, you actually made it to the end, Coon Friends." * During The Chaos Gambit ** "That's like a new electric lock my dad put on the door cuz once, when I was grounded, I tried to leave to go to the bathroom." ** "I gotta get outta here before my dad regains consciousness." * When using Haywire ** Appearing to The New Kid *** "CHAOS!" *** "Here comes the CHAOS!" *** "WHO SUMMONS CHAOS? Oh, hey there, New Kid." ** Appearing to The New Kid in master bedroom of Butters' House *** "Whoa uh...I'm not supposed to be in here, but OK!" ** Appearing to The New Kid in Forensics Room of Park County Police station *** "Oh jeez! You didn't do all that, did you, New Kid?" ** Appearing to The New Kid in laboratory of Mephesto Genetics Lab *** "Oh jeez New Kid, you're in quite a pickle!" ** Stuffing the Flying Minion into The New Kid's rear *** "Come here little guy!" *** "There there, minion." *** "In you go." ** If failed *** "Aw, hamburgers!" *** "Try aiming for the wires, New Kid." *** "Poor little guy. Looks like he died for nothing." *** "Muwahaha! Hitting next to the target is the essence of Chaos!" *** "I'm sorry! I'll put it in better next time!" ** After successfully using Haywire *** "Oh wow!" ** Leaving *** "Chaos is its own reward!" *** "Mwahaha, bye!" *** "See ya!" ** Leaving master bedroom of Butters' House *** "OK, I'm outta here, bye!" ** Leaving Forensics Room of Park County Police station *** "OK, I'm gonna get out of here now." ** Leaving laboratory of Mephesto Genetics Lab *** "Good luck fixing that tram so that we can all live!" * Farted on, The Chaos Gambit ** "Well, I appreciate you tryin' to cheer me up, New Kid, but it ain't workin' too good." Battle * Selected ** "Oh hamburgers!" ** "Muahahahahahahaha!" * Battle start ** "Oh, it looks like a rumble!" ** "I feel a lot of Chaos comin' on!" ** "Minions, assemble!" * Battle start, The Invitation ** "WAHAHA, Chaos's money goes only to his minions' competitive healthcare plans!" * Turn start ** "Bad news, villains: I'm a good guy now." ** "Chaos is coming for you!" ** "Muwahahaha!! Remember this day, for it is the day you die!" ** "I'm pretty sure I'm up, fellas." ** "Prepare to suffer, fools!" ** "Chaos is on the rise!" ** "Prepare for maximum Chaos!" ** "Prepare for your doom!" ** "Oh, boy! Some serious havoc is about to be wreaked!" ** "Oh, here I go, guys, make some room!" * Idle ** "Oh hamburgers, sorry for making you wait. I'm sure I'll attack soon!" ** "Hmmm... Who to attack for great Chaos..." ** "I shall resume spreading Chaos shortly, I promise!" * Self or ally idle ** "Gee, I wonder how my minions are doing." ** "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!" * Using Chaos Blast ** "For Chaos!" ** "Chaos!" * After using Chaos Blast ** "I'm workin' the Chaos guys, isn't this fun?" ** "Plenty more Chaos where that came from!" ** "Oh yeah, that's some good Chaos right there." * After using Chaos Confuse-O-Tron ** "There shall be no order from Chaos, do you hear me?" ** "Bet you can feel the Chaos now!" ** "This plan is foolproof!" ** "Wait for it..." ** "It's about to get a lot more shocking in here!" * Using Chaos Minion ** "Go forth, minion!" ** "Get to work, minion!" ** "¡Vámonos!" ** "Get 'em!" ** "You're on the clock, minion!" * Ultimate ready ** "Hey, fellas? Wanna see my Hammer of Chaos? It's pretty neat." ** "My Hammer is ready to bring Chaos to all who defy me!" ** "It is time to unleash my greatest weapon, the Hammer of Chaos!" * After ally attacking ** "Gee whiz, that must've hurt bad!" ** "You've made the world a better place...for Chaos!" ** "The forces of Chaos are smiling upon you!" ** "Yes... Feel the Chaos flowing through you..." ** "Hmm, I like the way you make Chaos!" ** "Oh, wow! I'd hate to be that guy's underpants!" ** "I bet your parents are super proud of you." * After Call Girl using Flash Mob ** "Oh, man! That was super cool!" * After Fastpass attacking ** "Wish I could move like that when my dad is in one of his moods..." * After Fastpass using Hit and Run ** "Oh, wow! Oh, jeez! You guys see that?" * After Human Kite using Laser Burn ** "Whoa! Excellently smote, Human Kite!" * After Mosquito using lifesteal attack ** "I always thought mosquitoes were pretty neat." * After New Kid attacking ** "Real nice one, New Kid!" ** "That's my Butthole! Um, our Butthole, I mean." * After New Kid using Elemental Onslaught ** "Gee, you really know how to use that, New Kid!" ** "Muhahaha! What a perfect shitstorm, ButtLord!" * After Toolshed using Drillslinger ** "Dad doesn't let me watch him play with his tools." * After Tupperware using Tupper Tornado ** "Well, that was some state-of-the-art butt-whipping!" * After Wonder Tweek using Supreme Lightning and Icicle Strike ** "The forecast calls for scattered showers...with a chance of Chaos!" * Fastpass defeated, The Hundred Hands of Chaos ** "Well, that sure was fast." * Mosquito defeated, The Hundred Hands of Chaos ** "Behold, minions! They let their weakest behind to die pitifully..." * After a Timefart ** "Oh c'mon, it didn't smell that bad." ** "Sorry about your turn." * After a Timefart Summon ** "Oh, Fartlord's got a minion now. Neato!" ** "Was that fella hiding in your rectum this whole time?" * Healing item ** "Chaos!" * After using healing item on self ** "I got that healing feeling!" * Healed ** "Gee thanks!" ** "Thanks!" ** "Oh yeah, I feel better." ** "Oh wow, I needed that." * Reviving ** "It's too nice out to play dead!" ** "Chaos commands you to rise!" ** "There's a buddy!" ** "Come back to life, OK?" * Revived ** "Gee, thanks, it's no fun being dead." ** "It is I, Professor Chaos. Did you miss me?" ** "Thanks, if I was knocked out much longer I might have gotten grounded!" * Attacked ** "I'm sure glad I splurged on the heavy duty tin foil!" ** "You dare lay a hand on Professor Chaos?!" ** "OK, just shake it off, Professor." ** "C'mon, leave me alone!" ** "Heck!" ** "Knock it off!" * Attacked, Farts of Future Past ** "Hey, pick on the Butters in your own timeline!" * Ally attacked ** "Uh, you kinda look worse for the wear, buddy." ** "Be careful, you don't look so hot..." * Toolshed attacked, The Hundred Hands of Chaos ** "Yes, yes! Take out the power tool!" * Ally Attack Up ** "You look really intense right now!" * Bleeding ** "Fellas, the blood spatter is really cool, but it's freaking me out." * Ally Bleeding ** "Oh no, You're sic getting blood all over your costume!" * Confused ** "I feel a lot more confused than usual, fellas." * Grossed Out ** "Oh no, my lunch! I'm gonna get grounded!" * Defeated ** "I'm OK... I'm fine... Auuugh..." ** "Could this be the end...of Chaos?" * Ally defeated ** "We can still do this, superfriends!" ** "Professor Chaos will avenge you!" ** "Friend down! Friend down!" * Toolshed defeated, The Hundred Hands of Chaos ** "You should have never gone back to join Coon and Friends!" * Victory ** "We couldn't have done it without Chaos!" ** "Muhahaha! Victory!" ** "We super won!" ** "Hey fellas, that was super neat!" ** "Wow that was some nice fightin', guys." * Victory, New Kid defeated ** "You can stop playing dead, New Kid. We beat them." * Victory, The Hundred Hands of Chaos ** "Muhahaha! Tremble before the master of Chaos! ...That's, that's me, minions, in case you missed it." * Dialogue ** With Call Girl, battle start with Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme *** Call Girl: "#nobodysgonnabelievethis" Professor Chaos: "Thanks!" ** With Call Girl, self or ally idle *** Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!" Call Girl: "What're you doing, Butters?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." ** With Call Girl, after using Chaos Blast *** Call Girl: "Nice Chaos, Professor!" Professor Chaos: "Aw shucks, thanks, Call Girl!" ** With Call Girl, after Call Girl using Selfie-Stick Strike *** Professor Chaos: "Call Girl kind of kicks ass, you guys." Call Girl: "Aw thanks, Butters!" Professor Chaos: "Who is this "Butters"? I am PROFESSOR CHAOS!!!!!!!" ** With Call Girl, after Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme using Dog Shitter *** Call Girl: "Jesus, Butters, you can't let your dogs shit everywhere. This isn't France!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, don't worry. I have a cleaning crew booked for after." ** With Call Girl, attacked *** Call Girl: "Are you OK, Chaos?" Professor Chaos: "Yeah, sorta, I think so..." ** With Captain Diabetes, after Captain Diabetes using Coma Combo *** Professor Chaos: "Well, you must spend all day pumping iron, Cap." Captain Diabetes: "Nah, I'm just naturally swole." ** With Captain Diabetes, after Captain Diabetes using Sugar Rush *** Professor Chaos: "I don't know how you do it, Captain!" Captain Diabetes: "We should hang out more often. I'd love to show you." Professor Chaos: "Sure! You can be my Admiral Anarchy!" ** With Chaos Kid, battle start *** Professor Chaos: "Gosh, minions, what gives?" Chaos Kid: "Your check bounced. Chaos minions wanna get paid!" ** With The Coon, turn start *** Professor Chaos: "Muwahahaha!! Remember this day, for it is the day you die!" The Coon: "How can they remember it if they're dead?" Professor Chaos: "They...uh... Oh darnit." ** With The Coon, self or ally idle *** Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!" The Coon: "The fuck are you doing, Butters?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." ** With The Coon or Mitch Conner, after attacking Mitch Conner, Farts of Future Past *** Professor Chaos: "Now did I attack the right one, fellas?" The Coon: "No!" / Mitch Conner: "Yes!" ** With The Coon, after using Chaos Blast *** The Coon: "Don't blow all your Chaos in one load, Professor!" Professor Chaos: "Don't worry. Lots more Chaos where that came from!" ** With The Coon, after using Chaos Confuse-O-Tron *** The Coon: "Savor my begrudging respect, old nemesis." Professor Chaos: "Oh boy, begrudging respect! That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." The Coon: "Yes. I expect it is." ** With The Coon, The Coon defeated *** Professor Chaos: "Aww, The Coon looks like a sleepy kitty." The Coon: "Uh, fucking revive me?" ** With Fastpass, idle and attacked *** Fastpass: "Not easy being one of the good guys, huh Professor?" Professor Chaos: "Only temporary! Soon the world will feel my wrath again!" ** With Fastpass, self or ally idle *** Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!" Fastpass: "What in the world are you doing?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." ** With Fastpass, after using Chaos Blast *** Fastpass: "Where'd you learn to do that?" Professor Chaos: "From no one. Chaos is my master!" Fastpass: "Ah, from the Learning Annex, then. I got it!" ** With Fastpass, after using Chaos Confuse-O-Tron *** Fastpass: "Gotta admit... Your brand of Chaos has a certain appeal!" Professor Chaos: "Well, I'm glad you think so!" ** With Fastpass, attacked *** Fastpass: "You OK, Chaos?" Professor Chaos: "Uh, not really." ** With Human Kite, battle start with Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme *** Human Kite: "Dude, you totally outdid yourself!" Professor Chaos: "Thanks!" ** With Human Kite, turn start, Chaos Minions first group battle, The Hundred Hands of Chaos *** Professor Chaos: "Why would you side with such weaklings, Toolshed?" Human Kite: "Yeah, why, Stan?" ** With Medbot, Medbot using healing attack on Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme *** Medbot: "¡Entropía bomba!" Professor Chaos: "Muchas gracias." ** With Mitch Conner, turn start, Farts of Future Past *** Mitch Conner: "Well, who do you attack, Freedom Pal?" Professor Chaos: "Shucks, uh, who do I go after?" ** With Mosquito, self or ally idle *** Mosquito: "My dad lets me play with the big rolling ladder in his store's stock room." Professor Chaos: "My dad let'ssic me not be grounded sometimes." ** With Mysterion, after Mysterion attacking *** Professor Chaos: "We should totally team up!" Mysterion: "Mysterion works alone." Professor Chaos: "Really? I mean, we're kinda working together right now." Mysterion: "Mysterion works alone." Professor Chaos: "Well, ok then." *** Professor Chaos: Gee whiz, Mysterion, you're really cool." Mysterion: "I know." ** With Raisins Girl, idle *** Raisins Girl: "So, you guys having a good time today?" Professor Chaos: "Uh...yeah." ** With Stephen Stotch, self or ally idle *** Stephen: "Butters, if sonething doesn't happen soon, you're double grounded!" Professor Chaos: "Oh no!" ** With Stephen Stotch, after ally or self attacking or using Enrage move on Stephen Stotch *** Stephen: "Well that just makes me more angry at Butters!" Professor Chaos: "Aww, dang it." ** With Stephen Stotch, after attacking Stephen Stotch *** Stephen: "Butters! Behave yourself or I'm going to send you to live with your grandma!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, please no." ** With Stephen Stotch, after using Chaos Blast on Stephen Stotch *** Professor Chaos: "Pretty sweet Chaos Bolt, huh Da-" Stephen: "How many times have I told you not to play around with raw energy beams!" ** With Stephen Stotch, after using Chaos Confuse-O-Tron on Stephen Stotch *** Professor Chaos: "Pretty shocking, huh Da-" Stephen: "Butters, you're wasting electricity!" Professor Chaos: "Oh yeah, I guess so." ** With Stephen Stotch, Stephen Stotch preparing Ground *** Stephen: "I'll ground you! I'LL GROUND YOU ALL!" Professor Chaos: "Oh Gosh!" *** Stephen: "Who will I ground next? Maybe all of you!" Professor Chaos: "Oh I sure I'm sorry about this fellas!" *** Stephen: "Any of you been swearing? That's a grounding!" Professor Chaos: "No sir we sure aren't doing any of those things!" *** Stephen: "Here comes a grounding!" Professor Chaos: "Well it sure has been nice being your friend, guys." ** With Stephen Stotch, after Stephen Stotch using Ground on New Kid *** Professor Chaos: "The New Kid can't be grounded! It's like a miracle you guys!" Stephen: "Godammit!" ** With Stephen Stotch, Stephen Stotch Grossed Out *** Stephen: "Butters, you're shampooing the carpet after this!" Professor Chaos: "OK, Dad." ** With Stephen Stotch, victory *** Stephen: "Dammit Butters, you're grounded for life!" Professor Chaos: "I...I am? But I don't feel grounded. Hey Guys, I'm not grounded! I'm Ungroundable!" Stephen: "NOOOOO!" ** With Super Craig, battle start with Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme *** Super Craig: "Nice ride. Sorry about your dick size." Professor Chaos: "Thanks!" ** With Super Craig, after attacking, Chaos Minions first group battle, The Hundred Hands of Chaos *** Super Craig: "Hold still, Chaos creature." Professor Chaos: "Hey, I'm paying you guys good money and I want to see results!" ** With Super Craig, after Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme using Dog Shitter *** Professor Chaos: "Mark your territory!" Super Craig: "OK, that got in my mouth." ** With Super Craig, Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme attacked *** Professor Chaos: "OK, just shake it off, Professor." Super Craig: "How about you FUCK OFF." ** With Toolshed, battle start with Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme *** Toolshed: "Wow that's...that's a hell of a construction project." Professor Chaos: "Thanks!" ** With Toolshed, self or ally idle *** Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!" Toolshed: "What the hell is that?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." ** With Toolshed, after Toolshed using Drillslinger *** Professor Chaos: "How does it feel to serve as a tool of Chaos?" Toolshed: "Dude, not everyone is into your Chaos shtick." Professor Chaos: "Muahahaha! Spoken like a true agent of Chaos!" ** With Wonder Tweek, after using Chaos Blast *** Wonder Tweek: "Are you sure you're not radioactive, Professor?" Professor Chaos: "Nope!" *** Wonder Tweek: "I'm kinda supposed to be the lightning guy around here." Professor Chaos: "It's okay, we can share!" ** Fighting Jared, after he speaks *** "You're making me kind of uncomfortable." *** "I really don't like this guy!" * Unsorted ** "Your King is no match for us, wahaha!" ** "Play your cards right and I might just introduce you." ** "A headbutt like a jack hammer... Neat, New Kid!" ** "Guys, guys, Super Craig is doing some super-cool stuff!" ** Paladin Butters: "So how far in the future are you from?" Professor Chaos: "Oh, days and days." ** Human Kite: "Nice work stopping their attacks with your body, Chaos!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, thanks!" ** Professor Chaos: "Let the winds of Chaos blow you, Human Kite..." Human Kite: "You saying you want to blow me, Chaos?" Professor Chaos: "Muahahaha! Chaos!" ** Professor Chaos: "You hit like my grandma." The Coon: "Fuck you, Chaos. That was a brutal attack!" Professor Chaos: "I know! Have you met my grandma?" ** "Hey! Me hablas español, you minions!" ** Professor Chaos: "I'm gonna push your buttons till you scream like a little girl, Super Craig." Super Craig: "Not happening." ** Super Craig: "Shit. The minions got you." Professor Chaos: "Why, thank you, Craig. I'm glad you're impressed by my super Chaos Minions!" Super Craig: "Do I sound impressed?" ** "Ha-ha! Behold, my minions! Chaos grips their soul and tears them apart!" ** "Toolshed! I can feel the Chaos in you... Join me!" ** Chaos Kid: "How are we doing, Professor?" Professor Chaos: "Not bad, my Chaos Minion!" ** Captain Diabetes: "You're not getting away with this, Professor Chaos!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, but I am, Captain Diabetes, and I'm going to enjoy watching you pee yourself!" ** Professor Chaos: "Ha-ha! Behold, my minions! Chaos grips their soul and tears them apart!" Captain Diabetes: "Does not!" Professor Chaos: "Does too!" Captain Diabetes: "Nuh uh!" Professor Chaos: "Yeah huh!" Captain Diabetes: "Does not!" Professor Chaos: "Does too!" Captain Diabetes: "Nuh uh!" Professor Chaos: "Yeah huh!" Super Craig: "Oh my god, will you shitheads fucking stop already?" ** "Let's see you laugh at Professor Chaos now, Coon!" ** Professor Chaos: "I hope that really hurt, Coon!" The Coon: "Come down here and face us, you fucking pussy!" ** "Look out for his middle finger, my minions!" ** "My grandma hits harder than that... ...Way harder." ** Human Kite: "Jesus, what the fuck was that?" Professor Chaos: "My Chaos Supreme comes with extra hot sauce!" ** The Coon: "I think you're taking this a little too far, Butters." Professor Chaos: "Thanks for noticing!" ** Professor Chaos: "If you all want to join my new supervillain group, Chaos League, we could all go back inside and get some juice boxes." Call Girl: "The whole place is on fire, you idiot!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, yeah?" ** "I can't wait to bring this thing to school tomorrow!" ** "Ha ha, hey, who's tickling me? Quit it!" ** "Man, it's kind of hot in here." ** "Heal me, 'o minion, so that Chaos may prevail! Huh, come on, please?" ** "Hey dad, you may have noticed but I'm kind of a superhero now." ** "Now if I hurt you, Dad, it's Professor Chaos doing it, not your son, now." ** Captain Diabetes: "Professor! It's not too late to lay down your minions!" Professor Chaos: "You wish, Diabetes!" ** "Gee whiz, guys... That was really mean." ** "Oh, watch this you guys, this is gonna be so good!" ** Professor Chaos: "Bow before Chaos or face my army of minions!" Toolshed: "Not in this lifetime, Chaos!" ** "These missiles are gonna look real sweet on our first movie poster!" Category:Characters voiced by Matt Stone Category:South Park: The Fractured But Whole Category:Quotes Category:Lists